I spent the summer reading The School of Life series. Seven books in two months: A Simple Life, On Confidence, On Self-Hatred, Self-Knowledge, The Sorrows of Love, How to Find Love, and Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person.

They're short books. 100-150 pages each. But they're dense. Every page has an idea worth sitting with.

These books don't tell you how to be successful. They tell you how to be human.

A Simple Life

The first lesson: simplicity is a choice, not a circumstance.

Most people think they'll simplify their lives once they have enough money, enough time, enough security. But enough never comes. The goalpost moves. The complexity compounds.

A simple life isn't about having less. It's about wanting less. It's about knowing what matters and letting go of what doesn't.

This requires self-knowledge. You have to know what you actually value versus what you think you're supposed to value. You have to know what brings you peace versus what brings you status.

Most people never figure this out. They spend their whole lives chasing things they don't actually want.

On Confidence

The second lesson: confidence isn't about believing you're great. It's about accepting that you're flawed and doing things anyway.

Most people think confident people don't have doubts. They do. They just don't let the doubts stop them.

The book makes a distinction between earned confidence and unearned confidence. Earned confidence comes from competence. You've done the thing before. You know you can do it again.

Unearned confidence comes from self-acceptance. You haven't done the thing before. You might fail. But you're okay with that. You're okay with being imperfect, with making mistakes, with looking foolish.

Most people lack unearned confidence. They won't try new things because they're afraid of failing. They won't speak up because they're afraid of being wrong. They won't create because they're afraid of being judged.

Confidence isn't the absence of fear. It's the willingness to act despite fear.

On Self-Hatred

The third lesson: most people hate themselves more than they realize.

Not in the dramatic, clinical sense. In the quiet, pervasive sense. They criticize themselves constantly. They hold themselves to impossible standards. They replay their mistakes on loop. They compare themselves to everyone and always come up short.

This isn't humility. It's self-sabotage.

The book argues that self-hatred is learned. Usually in childhood. You internalize the voice of a critical parent, a harsh teacher, a judgmental peer. That voice becomes your inner voice. It tells you you're not good enough, not smart enough, not worthy enough.

The solution isn't positive affirmations. It's self-compassion. Treating yourself the way you'd treat a friend. Acknowledging your flaws without letting them define you. Forgiving yourself for being human.

Most people are kinder to strangers than they are to themselves. That's the problem.

Self-Knowledge

The fourth lesson: you don't know yourself as well as you think you do.

Most people operate on autopilot. They react to situations based on patterns they learned years ago. They make decisions based on unconscious fears and desires. They don't know why they do what they do.

Self-knowledge requires introspection. You have to examine your patterns. You have to ask why you're drawn to certain people, certain situations, certain choices. You have to trace your reactions back to their origins.

This is uncomfortable. Most people avoid it. It's easier to blame circumstances, other people, bad luck. It's harder to admit that you're the common denominator in your own life.

But self-knowledge is freedom. Once you understand your patterns, you can change them. Once you understand your fears, you can face them. Once you understand your desires, you can pursue them intentionally instead of reactively.

The Sorrows of Love

The fifth lesson: love is supposed to be hard.

Not in the toxic, dramatic sense. In the growth, compromise, vulnerability sense.

Most people think love should feel easy. They think if it's the right person, everything will flow naturally. When it doesn't, they assume they're with the wrong person.

But love is hard because people are complicated. You bring your baggage. They bring theirs. You have different needs, different communication styles, different ways of processing conflict.

The question isn't whether love is hard. The question is whether it's worth it.

The book argues that the sorrows of love, the disappointments and frustrations and compromises, are part of what makes love meaningful. You're not trying to find someone perfect. You're trying to find someone whose flaws you can live with and whose strengths complement yours.

How to Find Love

The sixth lesson: you don't find love by looking for it. You find love by becoming someone worth loving.

This sounds harsh. It's not. It's practical.

Most people approach dating like shopping. They have a list of requirements. They swipe through options. They optimize for attraction, status, compatibility.

But love isn't transactional. It's relational. It's built over time through shared experiences, vulnerability, and mutual growth.

The book argues that the best way to find love is to focus on becoming the kind of person you'd want to be with. Emotionally mature. Self-aware. Capable of intimacy. Willing to grow.

When you do that, you attract people who are doing the same thing. And those are the people worth building a life with.

Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person

The seventh lesson: everyone marries the wrong person.

Not because you made a bad choice. Because there is no right person.

Every person you could marry will have flaws. Every relationship will have problems. Every partnership will require compromise.

The question isn't whether you're with the right person. The question is whether you're willing to work through the inevitable difficulties that come with any long-term relationship.

The book argues that the fantasy of the "right person" is what ruins most relationships. People expect their partner to complete them, to make them happy, to solve their problems. When that doesn't happen, they leave and look for someone else.

But the problem isn't the person. The problem is the expectation.

Marriage isn't about finding someone perfect. It's about finding someone whose imperfections you can tolerate and whose strengths you admire. Then committing to building a life together despite the difficulties.

What Changed

These books didn't give me answers. They gave me better questions.

Not "How do I become successful?" but "What do I actually want?"

Not "How do I find confidence?" but "Why am I afraid?"

Not "How do I find the right person?" but "Am I becoming someone worth being with?"

I'm more honest with myself now. I notice my patterns. I question my assumptions. I sit with discomfort instead of running from it.

I'm kinder to myself. I still have high standards, but I don't hate myself when I fall short.

I'm more realistic about relationships. I don't expect perfection. I expect effort.

These books taught me what school never did: how to live with yourself and love other people.

That's worth more than any credential.